Transitional Integrity

Over the last two years or so, my wife and I have been struggling with our relationships. Work. Church. Friends. Each other. God. All have been strained heavily by life. My minute understanding of how the world works blatantly points to the latter relationship as the most likely source of all of our relationship struggles. And so, a change must be made.

I know that this upcoming year will be different for a couple of reasons. She and I are being intentional about our spiritual growth. I am being intentional about leading my family. I refuse to let life drain my relationship with God any longer. The Westminster Greater Catechism (A series of questions and answers memorized to teach church members basic truths about God) explains a staple of Christianity with the answer to its' first question, "Man's chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever." Explained in the simplest terms, God's primary goal is to bring glory to Himself by making you more like Jesus today than you were yesterday.

This is a truth I have lost sight of.

Caught up in the rat race of making more money and doing more has derailed me from being more in Jesus Christ. But, God has slowly been drawing me to the conclusion that life is seventy years if you are lucky. What a waste to spend it doing nothing of any real impact. What a waste to be in the same spiritual position you were in a year ago. Two years ago. Twenty-five years ago. When is it time to make a decision to be more in Christ? When my wife graduates? When I find a better job? When I am satisfied with my church experience?

How about now?

And, in making decisions concerning this transition, I have found much opposition from the enemy. Why have I found less opposition in the last year? I've recognized that I wasn't focused. I'd lost sight of the goal. The wide path has few obstructions. It is well lit. The path is worn flat and the dirt is packed solid. But, the narrow path is less travelled. It is overgrown with weeds and thistles. It is rocky. It is covered in moss and muck. There are pits and perils. I wish for a machete. Or maybe a bulldozer. There is only room for a single file walk. No room to carry supplies or basic necessities. God provides sustenance along this path. But with nothing, stumbling along I go. Sometimes dragging my wife behind me. Sometimes needing her help to pick me up when I fall on my face. Or give me that last push up a steep hill. I know that this year will be difficult. The last two weeks alone have been nothing but temptations and failures. I ask for prayers, support, and love, as I renew my fervor in this endeavor.

God, please make me more like your son in every way. Please help me to know You more. Make me crave You. Push me to be more, love more, and show You to the world.